I have the worst time ever in my life. I wish that everything happen is only a dream. I pray I hope I wish that is only a dream. I will wake up from it soon. But, when I realize it, is not a dream, is a reality. Like what a lot people say, REALITY is cruel. I also wish that I never exist in this reality. So, I won't get any hurt or feeling the pain of it. I keep regreting myself why am I exist in this world anyway? I rather becoming an animal that becoming a human being that is so pain. At the second of it, I feel like killing myself with a knife or jumping down from 18 floor. After I die, I feel no more pain or hurt. Thats is everything I dream of. But I don't have the courage to do it. It need a lot of courage to kill myself. My inner say, you may suffer at your teenager life but you will have a wonderful life when you become adult. I keep thinking is it really true? What will happen if is not? I always God is fair to us. All of the beings in the world. Maybe like my mom say, I may did somethign bad in my past life that cause all this suffer and pain in my current life. The reason why I can't face the truth is because all of you keep draggin back to this dream that i try to forget. Let me tell you one thing, I ma stilla 13 year old girl who is still learning life and how life is about. Stop putting weight and presure on me! I cannot carry this heavy burden and continue my journey of my life.
